Chapter 1: Me, Myself and I
"Sahil, do you have that presentation ready for BCP with client tonight?" damn the man he never misses a beat to corner me, it was my manager. The huge hulk of a guy with surprisingly tiny palms and a brow ever creased in a perpetual frown."yes Dutta I do, we might need to cut this one a little tight owing to the productivity issues, the last module release is littered with bugs and we had to recall and revamp the code."Just another day with this Corporate concubine, been here for the last 6years and hopefully not anymore if things go my way.
The meeting was as usual again, with the usual bickering and clash of accents of 8 different people all over the world pouring over their Tele-Con phones. Just the usual show of importance and even the stifiling suspense which really excited me had now become one of those deary chapters in a book, which you were forced to finish since you started it.I am tired, 16years of education to numb my senses and 6 years of work to beat me into submission.Finished earlier than expected, the client succumbed to our pleas and agreed to extend the release date of the code by another month. I just looked at my watch 23:40 glowed the digital.
Walked the way to my car, one of the new ones on the market which I was really exicited about and my first car(should be my last.. if everything goes according to my plan!) Still have another 3years of loan on the car which needs paying up, that does not worry me anymore. I have made up my mind.The rain starts pouring, "Saab, kay aaj jaldi ghar ja rahen hai?'"
The usual plastic smile and nod of my head seems to satisfy the watchman, I guess the only guy who geniunely cares that everybody leaves for home on time and nobody is left behind. Got into the car, and hit the crazy Bangalore streets which are now even worse compounded by the weather. The city is a classic example of "India Shining" campaign, it grew too fast with all the software majors influx and the city's infrastructure which was not able to cope up with this sudden "Big Bang" this city went through. The result, terrible roads with a messy death lurking in every pot hole or the even chance of the roaring truck to mow your vehicle down.I can hear the tinny drumbeat of rain drops as they hit the roof of my car, the ethreal glow of the tachometer on the dashboard. The road was hard to see as the trucks pass me with the muffled roar, and the wipers as they chase eachother on the windshield.
The downpour increased as if keeping up with the tempo of Bob Dylan playing on the stereo. I pull up the car, near a old car shack with a board reading "Siva Sankar Panchar Shap". Its amazing how we Indians automatically adapt to times and have this innate desire to write everything in English. Some of us even chat in the regional tounge keeping up with the script in English. I opened the dashboard to pull out the crumpled Tamil newspaper which contained the marijuana I bought from the peddler near my office yesterday.
Took pains to clean it and seperate the twigs from the leaves in the warm comfort of my car. Emptied out the cigrette taking care to save some tobacco for the joint. Got out and walked over to the now deserted shack and lit it, taking in the first rush of the smoke as it passes into the lungs and the chemical makes it way up to my brain. Thoughts started forming in my head, as I watched the world rush past me. It was not a snap decision, I had been contemplating on it for almost an year now. But, woke up this morning and decided it has to be today. Today, I will go about my business and once back home, I will kill myself.
"Sahil, do you have that presentation ready for BCP with client tonight?" damn the man he never misses a beat to corner me, it was my manager. The huge hulk of a guy with surprisingly tiny palms and a brow ever creased in a perpetual frown."yes Dutta I do, we might need to cut this one a little tight owing to the productivity issues, the last module release is littered with bugs and we had to recall and revamp the code."Just another day with this Corporate concubine, been here for the last 6years and hopefully not anymore if things go my way.
The meeting was as usual again, with the usual bickering and clash of accents of 8 different people all over the world pouring over their Tele-Con phones. Just the usual show of importance and even the stifiling suspense which really excited me had now become one of those deary chapters in a book, which you were forced to finish since you started it.I am tired, 16years of education to numb my senses and 6 years of work to beat me into submission.Finished earlier than expected, the client succumbed to our pleas and agreed to extend the release date of the code by another month. I just looked at my watch 23:40 glowed the digital.
Walked the way to my car, one of the new ones on the market which I was really exicited about and my first car(should be my last.. if everything goes according to my plan!) Still have another 3years of loan on the car which needs paying up, that does not worry me anymore. I have made up my mind.The rain starts pouring, "Saab, kay aaj jaldi ghar ja rahen hai?'"
The usual plastic smile and nod of my head seems to satisfy the watchman, I guess the only guy who geniunely cares that everybody leaves for home on time and nobody is left behind. Got into the car, and hit the crazy Bangalore streets which are now even worse compounded by the weather. The city is a classic example of "India Shining" campaign, it grew too fast with all the software majors influx and the city's infrastructure which was not able to cope up with this sudden "Big Bang" this city went through. The result, terrible roads with a messy death lurking in every pot hole or the even chance of the roaring truck to mow your vehicle down.I can hear the tinny drumbeat of rain drops as they hit the roof of my car, the ethreal glow of the tachometer on the dashboard. The road was hard to see as the trucks pass me with the muffled roar, and the wipers as they chase eachother on the windshield.
The downpour increased as if keeping up with the tempo of Bob Dylan playing on the stereo. I pull up the car, near a old car shack with a board reading "Siva Sankar Panchar Shap". Its amazing how we Indians automatically adapt to times and have this innate desire to write everything in English. Some of us even chat in the regional tounge keeping up with the script in English. I opened the dashboard to pull out the crumpled Tamil newspaper which contained the marijuana I bought from the peddler near my office yesterday.
Took pains to clean it and seperate the twigs from the leaves in the warm comfort of my car. Emptied out the cigrette taking care to save some tobacco for the joint. Got out and walked over to the now deserted shack and lit it, taking in the first rush of the smoke as it passes into the lungs and the chemical makes it way up to my brain. Thoughts started forming in my head, as I watched the world rush past me. It was not a snap decision, I had been contemplating on it for almost an year now. But, woke up this morning and decided it has to be today. Today, I will go about my business and once back home, I will kill myself.
posted by jesuswasahippee at 8:46 AM
1 Comments:
Sounds like a page out of your life with a few twists and turns ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home