Chapter 3: The Letter
"Dear Mama and Dada,
I know this would come as a shock to you and probably leave you wondering what went wrong and eventually blame yourselves for what had transpired. Let me reassure you that you are not to blame, its my own decision to end this insanity. I am tired, tired of living a pointless existance.Not knowing the purpose of it all.Please do not take up the burden of blame that you have not brought me up well, in fact you did all and more than any other parents would do. I can still remember the first time when you hugged me, as I tripped and fell......."
Memories flash by, as I started the letter.It was like a series of pictures which flash by when you rewind the tape while playing. I can still remember the old house where I spent the first few years of my life, with in grandparents house while my dad was away on a voyage. My mom told me he saw me for the first time when I was 8months old. He was a Captain of a "big,big ship" like I used to boast to my friends splaying my arms as far as they would stretch. My mother, the most beautiful woman in my life who would bring me up filling up the void my dad would leave when he went off on his voyages, to make money so that his kid would never be hungry or be deprived of all the beautiful things in the world which he was denied when he was young.
I was subject to a lot of pampering when dad was in town, my mom now thats a different story, she was the ironfist.Bringing up a hyperactive kid like me was tough work, and I sadly shattered the dreams of my parents of having another kid. I was a lot to handle and this made my parents decide against another monster, which I learnt later.
I can still remember the odd bits and pieces of my childhood, just like an old faded photograph, or that scratchy old film which you can see on the VHS tape.My first day at school, thinking back now I find it surprising that the memory is quite clear. I remember hugging my mother in the soft cotton saree in which I buried my tear streaked face. I brawled and wailed at the top of my voice, and the "Aayaa'' as we called the maids in school, taking me away from my mom. I thought my mom was giving me away to the bogeyman, like in the countless stories you hear when you misbehave or do not eat your food.The stark change in smell from the freshly startched saree to the sweaty one of the "Aayaa". My pitiful cries to my mom promising that I will behave myself and that I will not throw stones or tie coconut leaves on neighbours dog.
It was pitiful, folks thought I will get to like the school and education will sober me up.Afterall my mom stood in the blistering March sun to obtain admission, as it was one of those uptight elite schools which you need to reserve a seat well before advance like when the kid is born or around an year or so.
It only got worse, years passed.Never was the boy, who parents dream of growing up to learn and top the class. Always the kid whose parents make a regular tour to the school since he is always in trouble. My mates at one point thought my mom taught at school, so regular were her visits.
Got caught smoking in 7th grade, with some misguided kids older by a couple of years. My ass was belted red by my mom and also to top it off my poor poor mother had to come over to the school next day, to beg the principal, the huge beady eyed creature who was/is still a spinster. She finally gave in to my mother with me in the tow, and I also received a lecture on how tolerant my mother is and how my she cares for my "quality education" in that dipweed school.
Trouble always took a liking to me and followed me doggedly and I did nothing to discourage it. Still remember the first time I made out with a girl.It was a hot summer afternoon after school and was waiting for the "girlfriend" to come down after her extra classes. Then both of us comtemplated which loo to use for "privacy". She won and we ended up in the girls loo. Stood there for a minute or two, unable to make the first move. Call it nerves, but kissed her first time on the cheek and when she moved her lips to meet mine. Then the whole world broke loose. She unbuttoned my shirt as I did hers and the first touch of her breasts got me thinking "Damn this is not at all like I imagined!"
Then, at that right moment when either of us are unsure as to what to do next the school maid chooses this moment to spring upon us. It was as if she was standing near the door watching the whole film and decided that its time for the interval.Anyways, there we were exploring the puberty to its hilt and on springs the surprise. My girl saw her first and without warning, closed the door on me. So, I guess it was quite a sight for the maid, to see me with my shirt out and hair looking as if I have been under electro-shock therepy gone wild. I did what would be the first reaction of any guy in such circumstances.I shouted "Fuck!!!" and tried to shut myself in the next loo. Too late the maid caught me by the collar and booted me out( probably she did not enjoy her sex life as much!) and I did the next best thing, I ran home!
The night was full of nightmares, thinking I might have got the girl pregnant by kissing her, that I had 2 kids (not twins though, dont ask how many times I did her!) one for each time I kissed her. The next thing to follow is my folks getting to know it and me getting married to the girl and being kicked out of the house. Not that I would mind "marrying" her, afterall she was the "love" of my life.Anyways come morning and I had the usual fever and "something else" that pains a lot somewhere near the heart. my mom now used to these sudden bouts of pain managed to get me ready for school. The school bus horn sounded like the hangman's trumpet.
Finally entered the classroom full of apprehension expecting my mates to give me the sad ugly duckling look, but received none. This got my spirits up a little, until the teacher started with the attendance. All the numbers were called. Mine was 36, an the teacher went on "33,34,35,37,38.. " missed mine by the simple headed me just assumed that she might have overlooked and after the last number was called, I jumped up with my hand high up in the air, "Miss, you missed my number, I am here". Pat, I got the reply "Yes, I do see that, would you mind joining me out!" Ok, now the fight for survival starts! Got out of the class and the next statement from my teacher starts "What were you doing yesterday after school?" I was just dumbstruck, so the bitch of a maid got my teacher into the loop." Errrr, nothing I went home!". Yeah, right as if that would help. "I heard you were upto to something in the girls bathroom last afternoon!". Damn, she got me there." No, it was not me!". As if it was at that oppurtune moment I have an identical twin brother.How I wish that was true. The principal wants to have a word with you!". It was more like the death sentence hearing for a convict who knew his sentence but needs to hear the final words from the judge after a lengthy trial.
Just get over it, kill me better than to chuck me out, since thats what I bet my mom is going to do. It was the longest walk to the principals office, kinda felt like walking up to the gallows.I came into the office fully expecting the girl to be there too, but was in for another shock. There was no girl, but there was the whole board of teachers, all giving the nasty stares which seem to say "yeah, we know what you did you little dipweed, exploring sex at your age when we dont even get it at our age, watch us rip your sensual soul apart!" The issue also in question here was that they were unable to find out who the girl was. I can never to this day imagine how she was able to get out of that loo without being caught by the maid! Maybe its a consipiracy theory in the making.
They started asking me who the girl was, at this moment the hero in me came out, I love her afterall dont I and its not right for me to insult her chaste nature by spilling the beans on her out to these monsters, who would come between us. I would rather go down like a tragic hero but would never let these people know who I was "making love" to and also where I learnt "unparlimentry language". Alas, the sad influence of movies on me.
Was "interogatted" for almost an hour, when asked it was always "I dont know!". They tried sweettalk and pressure but its of no avail on this "hero". Then came the talk of getting my mom involved in this "discussion". No friggin' way in hell can I allow that to happen, so out come the tears and I ran to the principal and begged her never to repeat this, I will take up any punishment but please dont allow my mom into this. It took a lot but my persuassion skills won over, I was left out with a "strong warning" which included an imposition and extra work after school to clean the "PT" room. Done, I would have happily wiped clean all the bathrooms and also the principals ass if asked.
Got out of the room, proud as a peacock that I have survived the "test of love" by not revealing my girls name and I would be the hero. But, things did not work out quite the way I planned. The "girl" never spoke to me after that and soon later found another "hero" for herself. I was shattered and heartbroken. Vowed never to fall for another girl again and I would die a bachleor ever in the memory of my "Lost Love". The flipside, thanks to a couple of teachers kids, the whole affair was blown apart and soon I was the Mr. Popular, who really "did it" and the "guy who has it"., alongwith the girls giving me the sly looks and the other chaps envious stares. I became the overnight star for sex education which I exploited to the fullest.
The whole affair was soon brought to a sudden halt after I flunked that year!
"Dear Mama and Dada,
I know this would come as a shock to you and probably leave you wondering what went wrong and eventually blame yourselves for what had transpired. Let me reassure you that you are not to blame, its my own decision to end this insanity. I am tired, tired of living a pointless existance.Not knowing the purpose of it all.Please do not take up the burden of blame that you have not brought me up well, in fact you did all and more than any other parents would do. I can still remember the first time when you hugged me, as I tripped and fell......."
Memories flash by, as I started the letter.It was like a series of pictures which flash by when you rewind the tape while playing. I can still remember the old house where I spent the first few years of my life, with in grandparents house while my dad was away on a voyage. My mom told me he saw me for the first time when I was 8months old. He was a Captain of a "big,big ship" like I used to boast to my friends splaying my arms as far as they would stretch. My mother, the most beautiful woman in my life who would bring me up filling up the void my dad would leave when he went off on his voyages, to make money so that his kid would never be hungry or be deprived of all the beautiful things in the world which he was denied when he was young.
I was subject to a lot of pampering when dad was in town, my mom now thats a different story, she was the ironfist.Bringing up a hyperactive kid like me was tough work, and I sadly shattered the dreams of my parents of having another kid. I was a lot to handle and this made my parents decide against another monster, which I learnt later.
I can still remember the odd bits and pieces of my childhood, just like an old faded photograph, or that scratchy old film which you can see on the VHS tape.My first day at school, thinking back now I find it surprising that the memory is quite clear. I remember hugging my mother in the soft cotton saree in which I buried my tear streaked face. I brawled and wailed at the top of my voice, and the "Aayaa'' as we called the maids in school, taking me away from my mom. I thought my mom was giving me away to the bogeyman, like in the countless stories you hear when you misbehave or do not eat your food.The stark change in smell from the freshly startched saree to the sweaty one of the "Aayaa". My pitiful cries to my mom promising that I will behave myself and that I will not throw stones or tie coconut leaves on neighbours dog.
It was pitiful, folks thought I will get to like the school and education will sober me up.Afterall my mom stood in the blistering March sun to obtain admission, as it was one of those uptight elite schools which you need to reserve a seat well before advance like when the kid is born or around an year or so.
It only got worse, years passed.Never was the boy, who parents dream of growing up to learn and top the class. Always the kid whose parents make a regular tour to the school since he is always in trouble. My mates at one point thought my mom taught at school, so regular were her visits.
Got caught smoking in 7th grade, with some misguided kids older by a couple of years. My ass was belted red by my mom and also to top it off my poor poor mother had to come over to the school next day, to beg the principal, the huge beady eyed creature who was/is still a spinster. She finally gave in to my mother with me in the tow, and I also received a lecture on how tolerant my mother is and how my she cares for my "quality education" in that dipweed school.
Trouble always took a liking to me and followed me doggedly and I did nothing to discourage it. Still remember the first time I made out with a girl.It was a hot summer afternoon after school and was waiting for the "girlfriend" to come down after her extra classes. Then both of us comtemplated which loo to use for "privacy". She won and we ended up in the girls loo. Stood there for a minute or two, unable to make the first move. Call it nerves, but kissed her first time on the cheek and when she moved her lips to meet mine. Then the whole world broke loose. She unbuttoned my shirt as I did hers and the first touch of her breasts got me thinking "Damn this is not at all like I imagined!"
Then, at that right moment when either of us are unsure as to what to do next the school maid chooses this moment to spring upon us. It was as if she was standing near the door watching the whole film and decided that its time for the interval.Anyways, there we were exploring the puberty to its hilt and on springs the surprise. My girl saw her first and without warning, closed the door on me. So, I guess it was quite a sight for the maid, to see me with my shirt out and hair looking as if I have been under electro-shock therepy gone wild. I did what would be the first reaction of any guy in such circumstances.I shouted "Fuck!!!" and tried to shut myself in the next loo. Too late the maid caught me by the collar and booted me out( probably she did not enjoy her sex life as much!) and I did the next best thing, I ran home!
The night was full of nightmares, thinking I might have got the girl pregnant by kissing her, that I had 2 kids (not twins though, dont ask how many times I did her!) one for each time I kissed her. The next thing to follow is my folks getting to know it and me getting married to the girl and being kicked out of the house. Not that I would mind "marrying" her, afterall she was the "love" of my life.Anyways come morning and I had the usual fever and "something else" that pains a lot somewhere near the heart. my mom now used to these sudden bouts of pain managed to get me ready for school. The school bus horn sounded like the hangman's trumpet.
Finally entered the classroom full of apprehension expecting my mates to give me the sad ugly duckling look, but received none. This got my spirits up a little, until the teacher started with the attendance. All the numbers were called. Mine was 36, an the teacher went on "33,34,35,37,38.. " missed mine by the simple headed me just assumed that she might have overlooked and after the last number was called, I jumped up with my hand high up in the air, "Miss, you missed my number, I am here". Pat, I got the reply "Yes, I do see that, would you mind joining me out!" Ok, now the fight for survival starts! Got out of the class and the next statement from my teacher starts "What were you doing yesterday after school?" I was just dumbstruck, so the bitch of a maid got my teacher into the loop." Errrr, nothing I went home!". Yeah, right as if that would help. "I heard you were upto to something in the girls bathroom last afternoon!". Damn, she got me there." No, it was not me!". As if it was at that oppurtune moment I have an identical twin brother.How I wish that was true. The principal wants to have a word with you!". It was more like the death sentence hearing for a convict who knew his sentence but needs to hear the final words from the judge after a lengthy trial.
Just get over it, kill me better than to chuck me out, since thats what I bet my mom is going to do. It was the longest walk to the principals office, kinda felt like walking up to the gallows.I came into the office fully expecting the girl to be there too, but was in for another shock. There was no girl, but there was the whole board of teachers, all giving the nasty stares which seem to say "yeah, we know what you did you little dipweed, exploring sex at your age when we dont even get it at our age, watch us rip your sensual soul apart!" The issue also in question here was that they were unable to find out who the girl was. I can never to this day imagine how she was able to get out of that loo without being caught by the maid! Maybe its a consipiracy theory in the making.
They started asking me who the girl was, at this moment the hero in me came out, I love her afterall dont I and its not right for me to insult her chaste nature by spilling the beans on her out to these monsters, who would come between us. I would rather go down like a tragic hero but would never let these people know who I was "making love" to and also where I learnt "unparlimentry language". Alas, the sad influence of movies on me.
Was "interogatted" for almost an hour, when asked it was always "I dont know!". They tried sweettalk and pressure but its of no avail on this "hero". Then came the talk of getting my mom involved in this "discussion". No friggin' way in hell can I allow that to happen, so out come the tears and I ran to the principal and begged her never to repeat this, I will take up any punishment but please dont allow my mom into this. It took a lot but my persuassion skills won over, I was left out with a "strong warning" which included an imposition and extra work after school to clean the "PT" room. Done, I would have happily wiped clean all the bathrooms and also the principals ass if asked.
Got out of the room, proud as a peacock that I have survived the "test of love" by not revealing my girls name and I would be the hero. But, things did not work out quite the way I planned. The "girl" never spoke to me after that and soon later found another "hero" for herself. I was shattered and heartbroken. Vowed never to fall for another girl again and I would die a bachleor ever in the memory of my "Lost Love". The flipside, thanks to a couple of teachers kids, the whole affair was blown apart and soon I was the Mr. Popular, who really "did it" and the "guy who has it"., alongwith the girls giving me the sly looks and the other chaps envious stares. I became the overnight star for sex education which I exploited to the fullest.
The whole affair was soon brought to a sudden halt after I flunked that year!
posted by jesuswasahippee at 1:39 AM
2 Comments:
GOOD GOD!
Hmm...thats a nasty twist ...
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